If you are running a nonprofit today, you know how hard it is.

There is record high levels of staff shortages coupled with a lessening of public sector and philanthropic support.

As a nonprofit leader you are aware of the intersectionality of the issues you deal with. 

Yet you are expected to keep your agency running, your donors satisfied and undertake bigger and more ambitious initiatives.

If you are a women nonprofit leader, there are the additional pressures of dancing the dance of exerting your authority in a way that does not offend while shouldering the bulk of responsibility for responding to your family’s needs.

Burning the candle at both ends and seeing the possibility of burnout right around the corner is an all too standard state of affairs.

I spoke last week about the importance for women nonprofit leaders of having a professional support system. 

Hopefully it convinced you to become intentional about taking care of yourself by building a system of support.

Today I will provide you with actionable tips on how to begin to build the support you deserve.

You can hear the episode at relishyourrole.com/15.

It is Hard to Run a Nonprofit

I could lay out a convincing case for why this is one of the most stressful times to run a nonprofit.

We have gone through tremendous upheaval in dealing with Covid.

Communities are impacted by violence and climate change disasters.

Our society is highly polarized

You know as well as I the emotional toll of the last three years has been acutely felt in the nonprofit sector.

You are attuned to the needs of your staff, your donors and constituents which amplifies the stresses of trying to keep all the balls in the air.

The Importance of  Support System

I am hoping I do not need to make the case for developing a support system and you have moved passed the idea that looking for support somehow is an admission of a flaw.

If you need to be convinced of why a support system is so necessary for women nonprofit leaders, there is a ton of research proving the positive impact of having a reliable support system.

I want you think back to a day in the last ten days when you were leaving work, on your way to pick up the kids, stop at the grocery store, drop off the laptop for repair, and hoping there was enough time in the evening to write the email to your board chair you have been putting off.

 I want you remember what in that moment you wished for.  In addition to a personal clone to do all of what you needed to get done, did you not wish you could vent to someone who truly understood your pressures?

Did you not wish there was one or two people you could turn to who would listen and affirm how you were feeling, share their similar experience, and, when you were ready to hear it, perhaps offer some solutions that worked for them?

So how do you create that system?  Where do you turn?

Ways to Create a System of Support

Connecting with Existing Groups

You may want to start with groups which already exist.

Is there a local group of women nonprofit leaders in your town?  Are you a member?  Do you attend their gatherings?  I have many clients who participate in similar gatherings, and it has helped them tremendously in terms of networking, and in some situations as a support system. 

Maybe there is no such group, or the one that exists does not feel right for you.

It may make more sense for you to start a group, just starting as an informal quarterly gathering for lunch.  You decide if you want to invite only women, if they need to be all from the nonprofit sector whatever fits best for you.  You are just starting the momentum to provide the opportunity for a routine gathering.  Maybe there is a formal agenda or topic in the beginning and as a group you can decide how structured you want to be. 

Maybe this sounds like too much work and reaching out to an individual is more your style.

So, who do you reach out to?

Find someone you Trust

Asking for support requires you to be vulnerable and you need to make sure that your vulnerability is respected so you look for someone who you trust.

They should have a proven track record of being people of their word, who act with kindness and have the ability to listen. 

You need to feel confident they could share your less than best moments and not judge.

Find someone you Respect

A good support system will not only give you a sense of belonging but should also give you an opportunity to learn.  You want to be able to ask for suggestions or guidance, so it is important you place value on that person’s perspective,

Find someone Relatable

If juggling running an agency and having elementary school age kids is a large stressor, look for someone who shares or has shared that situation.  If you are the first women of color to run your agency, look for someone who has dealt with same challenges.  Whatever that descriptive factor is, find someone who shares it so they understand intuitively what your struggles are.

Find someone with Wisdom

If you can, look for someone who has the benefit of years of experience. Sometimes there is more wisdom to be gained to being with someone who has some distance from the stressors. 

If you are struggling with concerns about feeling judged, it may be helpful to reach out to someone who is outside of your peer group.

Four Attributes

Think about these four attributes

• They are trustworthy,
• You respect them
• You can relate to them
• They are wise.

Who comes to mind? 

These are not the same folks in your friend group, there may be a person you do not know all that well but intuitively know your life will be better with them in it.

Reach Out to that Support Person

There is no magic to it, it is just getting up the nerve to reach out to someone.  I know the fear is there that people are busy and they may not respond, and you might get rejected or feel stupid or exposed.

Call that person up, write them an email, send them a direct message and set up a time for coffee or a phone call. 

Just start the conversation and see if you click.  Creating that support does not happen quickly.  It does take time. 

But what would it be like if you were the recipient of a similar email or phone call when a person reaches out to you, references whatever work experience or interaction you have in common and their desire to get to know you, or your agency better how would you respond?

Would you not be flattered?  Curious?  Interested in pursuing the conversation?

You may be ghosted by a few, it is a  real risk, but one I think is worth it.

The other possibility is you might begin to develop a relationship with someone who can serve as support for you when things are hard, or overwhelming or just plain frustrating.

You know your risk tolerance and you need to listen to it as you take the first steps either in finding a group, starting a group or reaching out to an individual.

Remember your motivation,  to combat the isolation that may nonprofit women E.Ds. feel and gain the support you deserve.

Just take the first step.

You can do it and I am here to help.