As a women executive director of a nonprofit, you are used to shouldering a lot.
Your agency does important work and you have been intentional about building an inclusive and supportive work culture.
You have many things to be proud of.
While you work overtime in meeting the needs of your clients, your staff, your board, family members and friends- what have you done lately to support yourself?
How strong is your professional support network?
Perhaps you have not taken the time to create and nurture a network of support.
Many busy nonprofit EDS neglect this element of self-care, but they do so at their peril.
Without a professional support network, you are at greater risk of burnout and leaving the job that has provided you with so much joy.
Let’s unpack why you need a professional support network and how it can aid you as you tackle the difficult task of running a nonprofit.
You can hear this episode at relishyourrole.com/14
Importance of a Support Network
Your work as a nonprofit Ed can be overwhelming and isolating. You have to solve so many issues, and you often second-guess yourself, making it difficult to lead with intention.
Depending on our age and needs. we have turned to different people to support us in different areas of our lives. We readily accept the necessity of a support circle in our personal lives, whether it is filled with family or friends but tend not to take the time to build a network for our professional life.
Somewhere along the line we have come to view needing support in our professional role as evidence of a flaw or shortcoming.
If you have that unconscious basis that looking for support somehow makes you less competent, perhaps you need to shift your perspective.
Think of a support network as a two-way street where you both give and receive encouragement and a useful exchange of ideas.
Four Benefits of a Professional Support Network
- Sense of belonging
- Thought partnership
- Improved self-esteem
- Authentic Connections
There are many reasons to develop a professional support network, but I think these four reasons should be primary motivators.
Sense of Belonging
Being a nonprofit Executive Director can be very isolating. As a women leader there are unique challenges due to gender biases and stereotypical behavioral expectations.
Your staff is not fully aware of all the pressures you are under, in many ways they see you one dimensionally.
Your Board of Directors have a limited understanding of the various demands of running a nonprofit.
Your community partners may view you as a competitor as well as a partner leading to limited candor in conversations.
In all of these relationships you often have to play a specific role to meet your constituents’ expectations and it is rare that you can bring your full self to the interactions.
A support group of peer nonprofit EDs understand your challenges, frustrations, and triumphs. They are your tribe and with them there is a common language and so many things that you need to explain to others are immediately understood. You can relax, they get you, you are not an outlier.
Just having a group where you feel you belong can relieve stress.
Thought Partnership
The things you have to deal with are complicated. You can google for answers, but nothing beats the learning which occurs when you can talk to someone who is familiar with your challenges.
Yes, this is why I think every nonprofit Ed can benefit from working with a coach.
I also believe having a support network of your peers can also provide that crucial thought partnership.
When you have a group you can bounce ideas, off you find inspiration and exposure to new viewpoints. Rather than suffering from swirling thoughts, with a support system you have people to talk with and help you figure out potential strategies.
Equally important you can contribute your thoughts and ideas to someone else’s dilemma which is affirming.
Improved Self-Esteem
When you are able to talk to others who share your experiences you may find that you are handling common stressors better than others. By sharing common experiences, you have a more realistic baseline of how your peers are doing in handling difficult situations. By comparing issues and possible solutions you will inevitably find that you are not as clueless as you may sometime feel.
Have you ever had the experiences of talking candidly with someone you admire? The deeper the conversation the more you come to realize that they are not perfect, and by comparison, you are not doing so poorly yourself!
No doubt that you may find that there are things you have tackled extremely skillfully. Having others affirm your skills improves your own self esteem.
Authentic Connections
In your role as a nonprofit ED., you often have to assume a role. Many of my clients talk about the exhausting element of adopting a persona when presenting to decision makers or representing their agency’s cause to community business leaders. They often struggle with finding the right tone, the right dress, the right gestures which convey authoritative knowledge yet approachability.
Some women do this code witching effortlessly. Others pay a large emotional cost. The website Girlboss has a post of the emotional cost of gender code-switching at work which I highly recommend.
A support system allows you to show up as you are, you can check the performative aspects of your job at the door. Like taking off uncomfortable shoes at the end of the day, it feels so good to find others where you can just be yourself and be accepted.
Support Systems Increases Job Longevity
Having a support system increases your job longevity and allows you to tackle your task with energy and confidence.
That is the goal, to find things to make your job easier.
Next week we will talk about how to create an effective support system.
In the meantime, do your own assessment of where you go for professional support and think through how you can make that network a more consistent presence in your life.
You can do it and I am here to help.