We have all been there as nonprofit Executive Directors.
You have staff who hates feedback. They refuse to make use of the feedback they receive, leaving both of you frustrated and looking for the exit.
How do you make sure that the feedback you provide is received and influences future behavior?
Spoiler alert- there are no guarantees.
You can be intentional about your approach for optimum impact.
Today’s episode will review six requirements for giving feedback enhancing the chances that your thoughts will be heard.
You can hear the full episode at https://relishyourrole.com/16
The Importance of Positive Reinforcement
When giving corrective feedback to staff it is important to be guided by what we know about human behavior.
People respond better to positive reinforcement than they do to negative observations.
If you are experienced as someone who is always critical, you will be avoided – or the staff will tune out when you start to talk. When a negative interaction is anticipated, ears are clamped shut before you begin speaking.
As a rule, by providing a higher ratio of positive responses to criticism, the person you are talking to will likely be more receptive.
There are six general tips you can use to make sure your feedback is heard and used to shape future behavior.
Six Effective Feedback Tips
- Your feedback is specific.
- Your feedback is timely.
- Your feedback is balanced.
- Your feedback is based on behavior observed not motivations assumed.
- Your feedback leaves space for interaction.
1. Your Feedback is Specific
Be a precise as possible when providing feedback. In tying your feedback to a specific behavior or recurring patterns of behavior you are explicit about what you are responding to.
The more specific you are, the greater the chance will be that the person can understand what you are talking about. Statements like “you always…” makes it easy to get sidetrack about how often the behavior occurs and takes the focus away from the behavior itself.
2. Your Feedback is Timely
Feedback has a greater chance of being received when is offered close to the behavior or event itself. Things fade with the passable of time and memory can be inaccurate.
Although feedback is most impactful when offered close to the time when the behavior occurs, the timing must be intentional.
Providing feedback immediately after the problematic behavior may be a mistake, especially if you are purely reacting. reactive responses rare lead to thoughtful, corrective feedback.
The purpose of giving feedback is to identify and understand the problem and make adjustments so it does not occur in the future.
Achieving these goals is difficult when you are angry or flustered. Think through and prepare what you are going to say. Clearly identify the behavior which is problematic and explain why it is an issue.
Center your feedback on expectations and why the expectations exist. Providing feedback which explains why their behavior is not aligned with the mission and values of the agency is most impactful.
Stating the value of client respect and linking how showing up late for an appointment violates this value is an example of thoughtful feedback.
Giving feedback to staff in front of others may trigger a defensive rather than accepting posture. Your goal is to be heard in the spirit of partnership to improve behavior, not to scold.
Timing is key to creating a receptive environment.
3. Your Feedback is Balanced
Be candid about the problem behavior but if you are just unleashing a string of all the ways the person is not meeting expectations they will probably just stop listening.
On the other hand, by sneaking in the corrective feedback in a list of all the things they do well, you risk losing the major point.
Impactful feedback identifies the strengths and the gains made as well as the areas which need to be addressed.
Stating the problematic issue in the context of the things they do well and explaining how it contrasts with their other skills is an effective approach.
The goal is improving behavior and by acknowledging their strengths you are aligning with them.
No one is all bad or all wonderful. The problematic behavior should be presented as something which is counter to all their strengths.
4. Feedback Based on Observed Behavior not Guessed Motivation
This is where things usually break bad. Your responsibility is to provide feedback on the staff member’s behavior. You want to be clear about describing the behavior, assuming you know why they behaved in the way they did.
In ascribing motivations to behavior by saying, “you don’t like your manager, so you didn’t follow the instructions “. You are stepping into the realm of conjecture. You really do not know why people do what they do. You can only speak to what you observed and its impact.
You want staff to become self-aware and see the impact of their behavior. You can help them connect their behavior to their motivations, but you cannot guess at why they behave as they do.
In maintaining an open and productive relationship, do not try to guess someone’s motivation.
5. Healthy Feedback allows for Interaction
Providing feedback should enhance staff’s self-awareness and growth. To set the stage for growth feedback should be given as part of a dialogue with opportunity for discussion.
Listen more than you speak.
Allowing the person to share their perspective creates is an opportunity to learn more about them and their understanding of why they did what they did.
Help them come to a common understanding of the consequences of their behavior and ways a different response can occur in the future.
The positive relationship and alignment of expectations comes through dialogue and interaction.
Give feedback in a way which opens people up and does not shut them down.
Like so many elements of leadership- it takes thoughtful intentionality and planning.
It is a key element of being an effective leader.
You can do it and I am here to help.